As you may know I am a humanitarian… At least I would be if I had the time, but I definitely take pride in helping out whenever I can. As you know October is breast Cancer awareness month. I had to support the tatas. When I was 11 years old I lost my mother to breast cancer. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer 3 years before. She refused chemotherapy originally until the cancer spread after the lumps had been removed from her breast. The cancer spread to her brain and left my mother without much fight. I loved her more than anything and wish more than anything that she were here, not only for myself, but for my father too☹. Every chance I get I donate money and walk in support of my mother. This year I supported a sorority on campus who were selling shirts in battle against UofM. Of course Michigan State girls won selling the most shirts. I thought they were cute!! Go green Wear Pink. Below are also the shirts that we got to walk in. Unfortunately my org. didn’t get the shirts made in time, so I couldn’t get my mother’s name on the back, but I will have it done next year!!! To you amazing women out there please take care of the tatas!!! Watch what types of over the counter or even prescribed drugs you take. That’s what caused my mother’s development of breast cancer. Be self aware. Know your body, and stay informed☺

TOMS

It doesn't come as surprise at all that it is definitely service time. I try to get involved and help out as much as I can around this time of year! I was too excited when I found a cute, less affordable way that we can all help young children everywhere. I bought a pair of TOMS!! If you haven't heard already, TOMS is an organization that was started by Blake Mycoskie. He has made a commitment to give a pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair of Toms shoes someone purchases! The organization is 3 years old and it is going very strong! Every since I bought my pair I haven't been able to stop seeing TOMS all around my campus! These are some pretty cool shoes, inspired by the traditional argentine alpargata shoe. I'm so glad that I can help, and now you can too!!

I know your probably wondering where you can get a pair! You can find a pair on their website... http://www.toms.com/corporate-info Nieman Marcus, Nordstroms, and and select Journeys!! They are very inexpensive!! I just love my pair!!

Here's a pair I have on my must have list!!

Review "Catching Fire"

If you loved the Hunger Games you'll love Catching fire!! The book was intense and kept me turning the pages. I had to know what was going to happen next. The book starts off where the Hunger Games left off, showing you what life was like in Panem after the Hunger Games until The capitol decides to throw a wrench into things. I thought the book was very gripping as you didn't know what to expect from the characters. I was left with excitement and happiness at the End of the Hunger Games, but I can't say too much of the same thing at the end of Catching fire. This is a book that you don't want to miss, with an outcome I was no where near expecting!!!

My Bikini Challenge!!

Join in and take the Bikini challenge with me!! I know summer is over, but I know you have a few things to get ready for, and I don't know about you, but I want to look nice!!

Fall Fashion Preview

Fall Fashion Preview!!!

Fall is my absolute favorite Season. It’s a time when you can really express yourself through Fashion. I love that you can dress a simple outfit up with a simple gesture like a watch, or some really cute boots. This fall I will be bringing it in with a fall preview of my must haves!!

Something I learned a while back is that wearing a watch indicates that you are a timely person and have somewhere to be in the next 15 minutes. I found a beautiful Michael Kors watch that will look great under my blazers, or while running across campus to get to my service learning to tutor my high school students. This watch will look amazing with anything!! Where can you find it?? Nordstrom for $225.

So being the college student that I am I like to look fashionable on campus. I love looking cute while, strutting my stuff down the runway of the sidewalks of campus! When I saw this bag I knew I had to have it! It’s better than any back pack you will see this season. Want the look?? This bag can be found at Michael Kors for $378.

Do you watch Basketball wives?? Well if you do I know you have seen these earrings. Basketball wives is one of my favorite shows!! I can’t help but be inspired by these beautiful women and their fantastic fashion trends. So while watching this season I couldn’t help but see every girl lavished in these earrings. These large earrings really set the various outfits off! So I took it upon myself to find out where I could find these earrings. These earrings can be found on Ebay!! Who knew?! While it is great to buy things you’ve seen it is even better to make them on your own if you’re creative! I found out where you can find these beads if you’re interested. Of course it would be much easier if we lived in down town LA, but for those who don’t, here is where you can find them, Beadsfactor.com. I also found a tutorial that can walk you through making them. http://youtu.be/dZF5nW9oefE

I really can't say enough how much I adore these boots. You can see the celebes love them too!!

One of my favorite things to rock in the fall is my leather coats! I just love how they look good with anything, even when you’re just throwing it on to grab a bite to eat or go to work. By adding these fantastic scarves you can dress any outfit up or even a leather coat! Where can you find it?? American Eagle, for $24.50!! Can’t beat that!

My Indian Remi Ocean Wave

So I got my hair done and I wasn't really feeling the hair, but with a few tricks and wash, I figured out what I could do to love the hair. Watch the whole video, I have a picture of the final look at the end:)

Reading is living

I love reading. It's something that you definitely have to make time for, but what else are you filling your day with? Reading allows you to live through characters lives without having to make all of the mistakes in the world, you can learn from characters in books, compare their situations to your own, and really get lost within good stories. My dream job is to be the principal of someone’s high school. I plan on working really hard and motivating the kids around me to read. I feel like if reading isn't the gift you have it is the gift I can try to give you. I am a future English teacher. This summer I took time out to get lost in a few books that interest me including Chasing Destiny by Eric Jerome, The silenced by James Devita, and I am currently reading Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. I feel like I will start blogging about the books I will be reading and what I get out of them. I want my blog to get really big as I will be adding many books to my blog. I want to be able to dissect a book and uncover its true meaning and test myself to see how good I can get. Come get lost in a book with me!!

What is fashion to me??

Fashion is something that has been with me for as long as I can remember… I have always had expensive taste. It’s just something about the things attracted to my eye that become a type of Passion that drive me into emotion. Fashion is expression. It allows me to express myself by presenting feelings of emotion that follow my day in and day out. Through this blog I will show you my sense of fashion, by presenting my opinions about the new fashions and a step through of my fantastic lifestyle of fashion..





Fashion is something I live for. It excites me, it challenges me, and interest me. It is who I am. My interest in Fashion has led me into a Communication Org. On Campus by the name of Purpose Org. It has pushed me into Fashion shows here and there and has really helped me see who I really am and who I aspire to be.

When does it get serious?

Sometimes I wonder if there is actually something wrong with me. The decisions I make are for the most part not smart as of late. I make bad decisions and the way I deal with them is usually with another bad decision. When do the bad decisions stop? Is it that I am heavily influenced by my friends and make decisions on be half of them, or am I really this stupid? A year ago I was driving home from the bar. I got pulled over and got an OWI. I didn't blow into the breathalyzer and I got my license suspended. I have been driving for a year without a license and I got caught once. I make the bad decision to drive almost every day and I am tired. I'm tired of doing bad things and getting bad results. When do people stand up and do something about their life? When do I make a stand and stand up for myself? I have to do it now! I have to make some changes in my life. I am in the court system now because of the one bad decision. I have been on probation for 9 months and I thought it would be a piece of cake and for a while it was and then it got hard. I violated today for the third time. The second time wasn't pretty and I can't see the third time being easier than the second. It's time to actually start making some changes in my life. I started this blog originally because I felt that I had some under cover issues that I felt that I needed to uncover. I'm not sure or not if I do, but through writing I'm hoping that I can figure them out and work on them properly. I am making the choice to not drink. My probation has been extended through October, so I will make the choice not to drink until November. That is such a long time! It's something I need to do though. Something for myself. I feel like this will be the biggest test for myself. I feel like it takes a strong individual to really make big decisions like this and to really follow it out.

I'm sure I learned a thing or two about it when I was in my first relationship. John. He did everything for me. He wanted more than anything for the two of us to stay together, but straight out of high school I knew that I would have to see more of the world before I could make a commitment like that. Now here I am 4 years later contemplating the same thing with yet again another John. He's pulled, tugged, pushed, and raped my emotions many of times. He has made me feel, as though cold is the only emotion I know, but as of now I am challenged. The two of us being together has not been for the good for the past few months. Both of us have become very unproductive. I noticed it, but I kept on pushing on, hoping I could get my shit together without focus, until he brought it to my attention. Of course he did this wrong. Pushing me away, making me feel unwanted and unappreciated. Now I know the reason. If it's more than obvious that two people can not work together for each others productivity should they end the relationship now, or should they wait, try to mend the pieces and try to make it work with the knew accusations they have formulated. It's been 3 months, but I'm willing to try for 3 more, 6 more, who knows, maybe even a year or more. I thought I loved him. Until he told me he didn't love me. That he has some feelings for me, but it's hard because he needs to focus. I'm sitting outside his apartment contemplating on going inside, or waiting for my best friend to come and get me. Something is keeping me from entering the apartment again. Is it the tears I hold back, or the pride I hold inside? Is this love, or is this..Dependency.

Leave or Stay

When is it time to leave? I want to be here, but I'm far from wanted. He makes me feel bad about myself more than often and this is far from good for myself. He doesn't care. Instead of focusing on him I should focus on myself because at the end of the day I am all that I have. I have to motivate myself, care about myself and realize that it's better to experience the initial hurt than to experience hurt through out the relationship. I've been gone for a day and he tells me that he needs his space. I ask him has he been thinking this and he tells me that he thinks about breaking up all the time. I should just have the decency to put an end to the bullshit and focus on myself. I try to hide my own anger of what I go through on a daily basis and focus on his happiness. Why would anyone do that? Why would I do that? I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore. We are not built to last and we won't. Especially when neither part wants to. I often think that maybe he starts this argument, or says things that he knows will piss me off, so I will just end it myself. He told me that there was no together. And it is impossible to let go of this statement. There is no together. He told me it was all over. Than over it shall be. I cannot care as much as I do because the only one receiving any type of pain is myself. I have to think with my heart and my mind. Obviously one of us is not up to speed. Could it be my heart? Or is my mind on point. The point is that I am the way I am, the way I have always been, just as he, and that’s fine, but I won't be disrespected, Ever! I feel as though his heart and his mind is not there. I want to leave for a week and not come back. Could I do it? I want to, but what is it that stops that? What is that thing that doesn't allow me to give him the space he needs. I wanted him to meet my father, but he won't. Only keepers meet my Daddy and I am unsure of how long this will even last, so why would I do that. I won't. I am not sad. I am more regretful, for my imposing. I should have let him be. I guess he was happy. So who wasn't, myself? And if so was I ever happy. Have I ever been happy or have I been trying to pretend that I was happy because I wanted him to be with me. There is still time for myself and I will always know that I have not met him. For we are not right for each other and this statement will live with myself forever.

Space!!!

I love my boyfriend. I love my relationship, but sometimes I have to admit that we need space. It’s not as if I am not reminded of this frequently by people on Tv shows, or sitcoms I watch, friends close to me, but sometimes it is easily to forget what one may need for their own relationship. I remember my boyfriend telling me once, that moving in would be the quickest way for our relationship to end. No I haven’t moved in, but I’m pretty damn close. I live with three boys and I can say that sometimes the apartment can get a little away from where I like it. They are not very messy boys at all, but they do think like boys when it comes to exactly what clean is, but compared to others it is by far the best of those, but because of how good this relationship has been to me I have easily forgotten where home actually is. I spend so much time at his place that any where else seems foreign. His house is comfortable and desirable. Sometimes he comes right out and tells me when he needs his space, but a few days ago it was as if that time frame did not fit into mine. I wasn’t ready to give space and so I stayed. I didn’t realize how much he needed space until we both snapped! I must say I was a little afraid that day! I felt as if he pulled something out of myself that day that made me feel outside of my character. There was too much of myself and too much of him. It was diffidently time for a break, and so that was just what I gave him. Not a long break, just a night off. I came back to his place the next day to take a nap and because of the large argument we had the day before we had both forgiven each other and laughed at our issue. I learned to give him space when he needs it and not be afraid. I felt like our relationship was started in the presence of another woman and it made me feel insecure to leave him ever. I was afraid that when he wasn’t with me he would be with her, so I fixed it! I would always be with him, but I don’t think this tactic worked. I mean I did end up with him, but I feel as though this behavior caused me to step away from myself and my life because I was so worried about him. I feel as though I made it hard for him to do the things he wanted to do and I felt as if this were not fair as well. We have been together for 3 ½ months now and it feels like forever. We have been dating since October and so it’s time to step out of the honey moon stage and allow the actual test to come on. The reality behind the situation is that by giving each other space, we actually are more excited to see one another. I sometimes wonder if this feeling is really that real. It’s so surreal. But all I can say is that I have actually learned that space is something that is imperative in a relationship and that it is the responsibility of both parties to make sure that they give each other the desired amount.

The Dog

How do you realize if a friendship is over? It's sad that when things happen in your life you tend to gravitate always from others while gravitating toward others. Last summer I experienced a lesson that changed my life. While I have become more aware, I stopped caring about certain things, stopped making an effort in other areas, and allowed some relationships to fall off. Not on purpose of course, for I love everyone, but my happiness source has changed and has caused my interest to slightly change. Relationships are scary because as you become closer to one, you loose your ability to be close with others including yourself. I love my friends, but as my interest change, so do they. While I have many relationships that this pertains to I have a lingering in my heart for one in particular. He came to me as obvious as he left. He was funny, warm, and real. While he could trick others, I always knew that he would never be able to trick me. Then one day he joined a group. I’m guessing he joined this group for a brotherhood, some type of system he assumed would always be there, but while they will always be there, does it mean they will always be real? The look in their eyes as I tried to pull him always was enticing. I gave up as their grip was a lot stronger then my own, but now I feel as though I too have lost the one I once loved like my own. He is with them now and I have come to accept this. Is this my fault? Did I let go of this relationship before he did? When do I go back, if I ever do? Is this it?

You need to cook

So I must say I believe that every parent should equip their children to cook. Not just heat up, but cook. I remember my dad always trying to teach me how to do this or that, but I was always to interested in something else then to sit in the hot kitchen and watch him cook. My dad use to always make the big meals. He took care of most of the meat and my mom tended to perfect the sides. At 11 my mom died due to breast cancer and so I was never made to learn to cook. My step mom was taught to cook by my dad, so even in high school I never learned to cook. I soon went to college where I stayed in the dorm and because home was not really a home I stayed in the dorm eatting cafe food. It wasn't untl I got an apartment that I realized that I should probably learn to cook, especially if I wanted any type of boyfriend, especially since I was always attracted to those big, stocky, football types. It wasn't until I met dough that I actually decided to settle down and actually learn to cook. It's funny though I was able to pretend that I knew what I was doing until he noticed. He knew I didn't know, but instead of switching me out he decided to teach me. Go figure, He's actually a great cook, so I am thankful to have a great teacher. The first thing to learning how to cook is to not be afriad. I had to loosen up in the kitchen, so I wouldn't fuck up because you will fuck up! I remember when I messed up on the catfish. Dough complained that I was trying to kill him, giving him half cooked fish o_O oops! After that I was nervous. I never wanted to mess up again, but I have to keep trying because we both can't go hungry. So I decided that I will make my very own cook book. I will write down my own recipies on how to make my favorite dishes and walk you through making dishes without "Fucking up" .



On tonights Menu...

*Pork Chops (4)

*Rice*

*Green Beans*



1) Thaw out the th Pork Chops, for Best results for an hour or so, You can also stab meat with fork to help it tenderize.

2)Season Meat: Pepper, Salt, Seasoning Salt, Onion Powder, And Onion soup mix

3) Place the meat in cooking pan put water around the meat, this helps the meat to be nice and tender.

4) Put Foil over the whole pan and place it in the oven.

5) Make sure oven is pre heated to 400

6) Take meat out after 40 minutes

7) Wellah!



The meat actually turned out amazing,



Green Beans are simple. You just out them on Med. Add papper, Salt and seasoning Salt until you like the taste.



Rice

Just follow the directions on the box. Please make sure your not making up your own steps, just becasue you need the rice to be fully cooked before adding any other steps



And Just like that I made my man happy, by cooking him a meal:)

Relationships thus far

Relationships… At times hard to obtain, and for the most part hard to maintain. I love my relationships, whether they are my relationships with my closest friends, or my boyfriend. Unfortunately I don't have the closet relationships with my family, but hopefully through writing I will be able to work on that and focus on all of my relationships and learn how to maintain them all with a great balance. First I'm going to start my blog by giving you a dose of the most important people in my life. First I'm going to start with my Boyfriend, Dough. He's my heart! I love him to death, even though we have only been together for 2 and a half months we have been dating for about 6 and a half. Then there is my Hippielynn or I will probably refer to her as Tah. Tah is great. She's loving, smart, adventurous, beautiful, and optimistic. I love her for her flaws, for her ambitions, and for character. And of course there are a lot more, but as time permits, you will learn how our relationships have grown and why they hold they strength they hold. My mom died when I was 11, so unfortunately I feel as though I don't have a mother, even though I have a step mom a lot of negative energy permits this relationship from being as successful as it should be. I love my dad more than anything! He is my heart who I will love always!! He is just like me. We are both loving, sensitive, funny as hell, can be mean, smart, and at time nonchalant. My world of relationships is close. I am very big on loyalty, so I don’t keep too may close, as this is a very hard task for some. I have recently noticed a lot of people fading through out my life. While I'm pretty sure why It's always a good idea to recapture these relationships and make sure they are everlasting I can't help but question how everyone else is able to balance it all.

My new Genie Bottle:)

So I got a new Genie Bottle/ Home. I had a blog on the website called over blog, but I quickly realized that it was very limited. I couldn't upload you tube videos. I think the blog was an over seas blog and so it made it very hard to do much of anything. I think I wasn't too comfortable with too many people actually seeing my blog, but now I think I am ready to expand and have a little fun, so I will be dragging my previous works over, at least those that are relevant. I'm stuck between the things that I would like to use this blog for. My last blog focused on a lot of different things. I do want to do that here, but I want a higher focus, an actual advice giver, rather than a venter. I mean I guess I will take the blog where ever it chooses to go. So open my book and keep your bookmark close, this will be an amazing story.

Before I leave I want to quickly explain the idea of the genie bottle. As you may know I want to be a teacher. I want to have a Euphoric place that my students can come that they feel safe in. A place where outside things don't matter, but they understand how to deal with them, when they need to. I call this place my Genie Bottle. So even though I am not in my classroom yet I am taking the time to mentally get my Euphoria together, so Welcome:)