Sometimes I wonder if there is actually something wrong with me. The decisions I make are for the most part not smart as of late. I make bad decisions and the way I deal with them is usually with another bad decision. When do the bad decisions stop? Is it that I am heavily influenced by my friends and make decisions on be half of them, or am I really this stupid? A year ago I was driving home from the bar. I got pulled over and got an OWI. I didn't blow into the breathalyzer and I got my license suspended. I have been driving for a year without a license and I got caught once. I make the bad decision to drive almost every day and I am tired. I'm tired of doing bad things and getting bad results. When do people stand up and do something about their life? When do I make a stand and stand up for myself? I have to do it now! I have to make some changes in my life. I am in the court system now because of the one bad decision. I have been on probation for 9 months and I thought it would be a piece of cake and for a while it was and then it got hard. I violated today for the third time. The second time wasn't pretty and I can't see the third time being easier than the second. It's time to actually start making some changes in my life. I started this blog originally because I felt that I had some under cover issues that I felt that I needed to uncover. I'm not sure or not if I do, but through writing I'm hoping that I can figure them out and work on them properly. I am making the choice to not drink. My probation has been extended through October, so I will make the choice not to drink until November. That is such a long time! It's something I need to do though. Something for myself. I feel like this will be the biggest test for myself. I feel like it takes a strong individual to really make big decisions like this and to really follow it out.
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