It's been about a month since I last saw him. The man who took hold of my blindfolded heart. I've never had to actually say good bye. Until that day I never thought about what our good bye would be like. I almost imagined that it wouldn't happen and that something would happen to keep me there, but it didn't. Like all good things that too came to an end. The night before I left was amazing. We had an amazing dinner, fulfilled with crab legs specially created by him with red skin potatoes and green beans. We had some delicious wine and tasteful treats "a favor of his". The night was wild, yet calm all together. We met in a place that will only exist with him. A place where I questioned our existence and believed I could find through him. While this place can only be found in unnatural realities I will never forget our spacial place. The next morning I dragged my last bags to the door and called him down to say our good bye. As soon as I saw him I broke down. I cried for what felt like forever. I actually boo wooed! I looked up to see his tears free falling from his beautiful brown eyes and actually saw his heart on display all over his face. This made my heart yearn for his presence even more. While I was hurt at the thought that I wouldn't be able to see him on the regular, I was excited that I would be in a brand new city doing what I always dreamed of doing, teaching… So I did it. I said good bye. After I moved I thought maybe I would meet someone right away, but I didn't, and so I called on my love to comfort my lonely nights, only to be greeted by a heart that knew me all too well. He knew why I called and didn't give me all of what I wanted. How did he know that I was just lonely? Did he feel like I was using him? Was I? Yes, I was. I do love him, just as he does me, but we are not together because we do not want to be. We are both great people, but we are only supposed to be friends. I will love him forever and I will always remember our special place, but the truth is that I have to let him go. While our friendship will float, our relationship has sunk and instead of tiring my self out trying to swim down to grab it, drag it, and keep a float. I'm going to let it go, catch my breath and swim to the shore.
Hi, I'm Dee Dee. I'm fun, challenging, determined, and hard headed. I want the most out of this life for myself and for those around me. I want to be a principal some day, but until then I'm going to have an absolute fab time becoming a teacher, experiencing relationships, trying to stay fit, playing dress up, learning how to cook, and taking care of business. Follow me on twitter and subscribe to my blog as I will be here to vent, post advice and review some pretty cool things!!!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Dinner date for 2
It's been about a month since I last saw him. The man who took hold of my blindfolded heart. I've never had to actually say good bye. Until that day I never thought about what our good bye would be like. I almost imagined that it wouldn't happen and that something would happen to keep me there, but it didn't. Like all good things that too came to an end. The night before I left was amazing. We had an amazing dinner, fulfilled with crab legs specially created by him with red skin potatoes and green beans. We had some delicious wine and tasteful treats "a favor of his". The night was wild, yet calm all together. We met in a place that will only exist with him. A place where I questioned our existence and believed I could find through him. While this place can only be found in unnatural realities I will never forget our spacial place. The next morning I dragged my last bags to the door and called him down to say our good bye. As soon as I saw him I broke down. I cried for what felt like forever. I actually boo wooed! I looked up to see his tears free falling from his beautiful brown eyes and actually saw his heart on display all over his face. This made my heart yearn for his presence even more. While I was hurt at the thought that I wouldn't be able to see him on the regular, I was excited that I would be in a brand new city doing what I always dreamed of doing, teaching… So I did it. I said good bye. After I moved I thought maybe I would meet someone right away, but I didn't, and so I called on my love to comfort my lonely nights, only to be greeted by a heart that knew me all too well. He knew why I called and didn't give me all of what I wanted. How did he know that I was just lonely? Did he feel like I was using him? Was I? Yes, I was. I do love him, just as he does me, but we are not together because we do not want to be. We are both great people, but we are only supposed to be friends. I will love him forever and I will always remember our special place, but the truth is that I have to let him go. While our friendship will float, our relationship has sunk and instead of tiring my self out trying to swim down to grab it, drag it, and keep a float. I'm going to let it go, catch my breath and swim to the shore.
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