Where the heck am I going??

Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?

I'm 23 years old and I honestly used to think that the sky was the limit. I mean it is, but is it for everyone? Sometimes you really have to sit down and think to yourself where do I see myself in 10 years… Well I want to be in charge. I want to be a teacher, then a principal is very fitting. I want to be married. I want to have a great husband that knows me and understands me. I don't want to worry about him I just want to love him. I want kids and a dog. That's pretty fitting. I'm not sure however that I'm doing what I need to do right now to make sure I get those things. I'm teaching, but I don't have my own classroom. I need to get certified. I could have stayed in Michigan and tied that down for myself, but of course I decided to make things a little harder. Now I'm on the struggle for certification. Come along on the journey to see just how hard or easy I have truly made things. If you're a recent grad or even someone who wants to change what ever it is that your doing… A word of advice. When that thought comes to mind, start working on it. Start looking into it. There are deadlines people and believe it or not no one is waiting on you.

Dinner date for 2

It's been about a month since I last saw him. The man who took hold of my blindfolded heart. I've never had to actually say good bye. Until that day I never thought about what our good bye would be like. I almost imagined that it wouldn't happen and that something would happen to keep me there, but it didn't. Like all good things that too came to an end. The night before I left was amazing. We had an amazing dinner, fulfilled with crab legs  specially created by him with red skin potatoes and green beans. We had some delicious wine and tasteful treats "a favor of his". The night was wild, yet calm all together. We met in a place that will only exist with him. A place where I questioned our existence and believed I could find through him. While this place can only be found in unnatural realities I will never forget our spacial place. The next morning I dragged my last bags to the door and called him down to say our good bye. As soon as I saw him I broke down. I cried for what felt like forever. I actually boo wooed! I looked up to see his tears free falling from his beautiful brown eyes and actually saw his heart on display all over his face. This made my heart yearn for his presence even more. While I was hurt at the thought that I wouldn't be able to see him on the regular, I was excited that I would be in a brand new city doing what I always dreamed of doing, teaching… So I did it. I said good bye. After I moved I thought maybe I would meet someone right away, but I didn't, and so I called on my love to comfort my lonely nights, only to be greeted by a heart that knew me all too well. He knew why I called and didn't give me all of what I wanted. How did he know that I was just lonely? Did he feel like I was using him? Was I? Yes, I was. I do love him, just as he does me, but we are not together because we do not want to be. We are both great people, but we are only supposed to be friends. I will love him forever and I will always remember our special place, but the truth is that I have to let him go. While our friendship will float, our relationship has sunk and instead of tiring my self out trying to swim down to grab it, drag it, and keep a float. I'm going to let it  go, catch my breath and swim to the shore.

My bestie and I:)

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I remember when I was younger my step mother told me that a real friend was someone you didn’t have to see or talk to everyday, that no matter what you would pick up where you left off. I remember when I knew this person would be Tah. I was in the 9^th grade. She was pretty, witty, and smart. Our friendship was different than any other friendship I had. We bought each other presents for each others birthdays and we appreciated one another. We ended up going to college with each other and we ended up living with each other and becoming best friends. Now we are both graduated and you will never guess what’s happening now! We’re separating:(Sike!!!!! We are moving to Chicago together!!!! We always talked about it, but now it’s really happening!!!!! We are going to be taking on the big city of Chicago one day at a time! How lucky are we! Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in the loop!! Chicago is going to be amazing:)

Decisions Decsions

Choices, choices, and more choices; I mean I like it. The rush! This enticing feeling of excitement that can’t let go! I’m on the ride of a life time. I can go anywhere I want and I can do whatever I want. Or can I? I have an internship in one direction and I have Chicago in another hand. All along I thought I was ready for my internship, but I would have never thought things would make the turned out the way they have. My older sister has been avoiding me; my sister that I planned on staying with during my internship. I mean I was kind of excited. I was excited to be completing my certification process and was excited about the raging, growing city of Birmingham, but all of those feelings slowly faded. I couldn’t believe that my sister kept changing the subject and stopped returning my calls. I’m glad I had a backup plan. I always liked my plan B better than my plan A. I would be in Chicago, teaching! I went to school for teaching and I knew this would be a wonderful experience. Of course I would still have to get certified, but at least I was almost there. I can’t help looking for apartment’s everyday and can’t wait for the call that my best friend got the job too!! All of us… in Chicago together… like it were meant to be. Everything about Chicago just feels so right. It feels so right that I can’t even be mad about the internship situation not working. I mean yes it the better choice, but I can always make it work. My brother and his fiancé are there and my best friend E. I mean everyone is welcoming me with open arms... What now? I guess I better make this call to cancel my internship… It’s just so hard. I can’t make the call. I feel like I ‘m letting my mentor teacher down, or myself down, or my dad down. He only wants me to move with my sister, but it doesn’t look like that is going to happen any time soon. I should probably call her and tell her the good news.

The beautiful Miami!!

Miami

I've always heard about the wild and crazy parties that go on in Miami, so of course naturally I had to make arrangements to find my way there. Unfortunately we decided to go during the most ratchet weekend ever. We decided to go for Black Beach Week, also known as Urban week. Wrong week to go… We had a great time before the weekend started. During the week everything was very accessible. The beach was clean, and the promoters came through, but when the  weekend started, so did the ratchetness. Streets were blocked off causing our trip to be difficult. We went to a few great clubs while we were in Miami. Bamboo was amazing. It was more of a lounge club, but on it's biggest nights you know it's amazing. The Dj booth flipped down and allowed the dancers to dance on it while it moved up and down. We went to Mansion one night which is very exciting. A girl in a pedal bathtub was there to greet us before we got into the fog lighting and necessary club atmosphere. One of my favorites was Mokai! It had so much to offer. At least for me it did. The pole dancers made it worth while and exciting. They passed out sunglasses and glow lights too, while there were many favors, this was a club that represented a lot of class. From the stone patio white linen seating before I entered, to the glass of champagne I was offered at entry this was a must go club! One of my welcoming favorites was dream. Yes it was a little ratchet, but I did like it. You can basically do what ever in there. Nice club, but very small. Some where that I won't be attending for a second time would have to be Rush! Rush was very large, but tired! I really didn't like the over using black smokers club that left the club smokey and nauseating. I won't be back!

Miami was wonderful. If you ever need tshirts and trinkets for you loves back home you have to check out Surf Style. I found so many cute outfits and gifts!!
A list of clubs might be helpful, but remember to be free and go with the flow, the promoters will take care of you, I know mine did:) Also be smart and save money. I rented an apartment for my stay and I loved it! We had our own kitchen that we were able to fill with groceries from a store within walking distance.

Fat Tuesday's and Wet Willies are a must!! Shopping is also one of a kind. You can find some amazing dresses and swimsuits anywhere along Washington, Ocean, and Collins! These three streets will have everything you need.

Here is a list of places to check out. I didn't make it to every spot, but I know I will eventually!
1. King of Diamonds- Strip club
2. Mansion
3. Cameo
4. Dream
5. Clevlander (Sandals)
6. Fat Tuesday
7. Liv- fountain blue hotel
8. Space. Has multiple floors, different music
9. Mokai

Oh and don't listen to those people who tell you to come to their restaurants, bragging that they will give you free shots and drink deals because apparently the drink deals change. We went to this restaurant that was right on the beach. They were selling these extremely large drinks for 45 a piece! They told us buy 2 get one free.. Lies. Just be careful.

Graduation

 

Graduation Surreal right? I mean I couldn't wait. I anticipated grabbing my cap and gown, finishing off classes for the semester, and receiving my teaching placement, but it's something about that uncertainty that crawls my spine. I mean Graduation was great, don't get me wrong, but it's nothing like really, really being finished. I have two classes to finish before I get to hold my degree in my hand.. No biggie, but I mean come on who wants to take classes over the summer?? At this point one has an understanding that you have to do what you have to do, and you will get your awe feeling when your done. The best part about Graduation was that My best friend Tasha and I graduated together. I have to say that this was my highlight. One thing that really but a twist on my Graduation were my parents. You would think that adults would act better than kids, but not at all. My dad is crazy!!. I invited my step mom and he went nuts!! I mean he wouldn't even give me a hug after Graduation. I mean between me and… well you as a reader. I have to get this money, and if that means inviting people who were in half of my life…Well of course I'm going to do it. Of course everything was fine after my step mom left, but I really couldn't believe how crazy things had gotten. My family and Tasha's family ate together at Houlihan's after Graduation. If your going for a nice meal think again their food is officially gross, at least it was this day. Oh and the service sucked. I mean you try waiting a table of 20 by yourself. Not going to happen. While I was excited I couldn't help but notice the twist my sister put on the excitement of my future. I asked her if she was ready for me to move in and she huffed and said No… No? I couldn't believe her response. Usually I would let that just roll of without thinking too hard, but for some reason I couldn't let it go.

Red Alert

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Last month I was elated to be coordinating the Red Alert Fashion show. I had participated in the Red Alert Fashion show the year before. The fashion show is organized by an organization on the campus of Michigan State University by the name of Reaal, which is a woman’s leadership organization that stands for radiating excellence in all areas of life. Every year the REAAL has a fashion show, which proceeds are donated to organizations finding a cure for Aids. As coordinators I feel like we did an awesome job putting together an amazing show:)

New York, New York

New York is always amazing. Since my dad lives there I am always trying to make it to the city every chance I get. I was thrilled to spend as much time with my sister, niece and nephew while we were in the city.

I also can’t get enough of one my best friends Zoe!!! I absolutely love that girl. While going to visit my dad I couldn’t wait to enjoy my time with this girl.

I was so excited to try the amazing tasteful food that SoHo had to offer. We went to this amazing Bistro called the Manhattan Bistro to fill our stomachs so we could get our shopping in for the night.

One thing about New York that will always keep me interested is the shopping. I love that there are so many stores that have so many looks for great prices. There is something for everyone there. A store that I know I will have to visit every time I’m in new york would have to be the Necessary clothing store also located in SoHo.

The thing that sets this city apart from other cities would have to be the drive of the city. The city has a type of air that makes you want to join in.You know that in order to survive you have to do something. People are always working on their craft. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be in New York. I thought a lot about moving to New York after graduation, with Zoe… But I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet.. What could I do? What am I good at? I am seriously considering a life in the wonderful city of New York:)